In the Making

For a year or so now, having mulled over Marva Dawn and others, I’ve been thinking of leaving Facebook.  I’ve felt swamped and overtaken by the largeness of it.  Status updates have become a form of entertainment.  I watch my friends’ lives like I watch TV.  Deep conversations have been replaced by one-liners.  The laziness of being connected to so many on such a shallow and virtual level is showing up in my real relationships as a perpetual form of people-fatigue.  Though I know facebook is somehow distorting my ability to relate to others and transforming flesh and blood into information bytes, I am strangely addicted to it as a form of guaranteed entertainment.  Yes, this stuff has been on my mind…

My friend Dan Chen (many of you know him as my awesome wedding photographer) just left the big FB.  Thankfully he bothered to tell us why.  Please take the time to enjoy this feast of thought.

From Dan Chen’s new collaboration blog, newliteracy:

before i go on, like socrates did, i must apologize for my arguments will have their flaws. i apologize, not because the content of my writing will be inherently offensive, but that it is in great deal hypothetical, theoretical, and above all personal. if at times i come off as pretentious, patronizing or contemptuous i assure you it is not my intent. it is my hope that whatever relational capital i have stored up with those who know me would provide me with some leniency in regards to the brash nature of this content and not disassociate these words with the human soul that is behind them. my tone may at times be as one of passion and seem to lose all grip on logic. and at times what logical arguments i will try to make will be severely limited by incomplete perspective. but then again such are the difficulties with presentation of ideas, that unfortunately we are not always equipped with the full gamut of human experience and knowledge. with all that said, let me continue.

i am in search of truth. i would like to think we all are but because we live in a world of endless distractions and a culture of trivial pursuit; it is with much sadness and sorrow that i think the current state of reality is in-conducive to truth-seeking and as such we no longer come across artists or philosophers anymore, and furthermore that the force of actions of good men and women have been blunted. perhaps i use the word too loosely. what i mean to say, at least in regards to what i’ve written below, is that i am in search of truth within myself, for a wholeness of being, a continuity between the integrity of my soul and my human experience. i dare not speak for all, nor as one who knows much about anything. i’m simply contemplative in my nature, with the difficulty usually being how i make sense of my thoughts practically. i want to hand out onions. i’d like to see fruit born.

it may be of wonder to some why something as seemingly inconsequential as the act of leaving facebook would inspire such a rise within others or one’s soul. but it is true. upon discovery, people will ask ‘why,’ perhaps out of curiosity or maybe even out of wonder. with all that facebook has to offer in its near god-like, near omnipresent and seemingly omniscient presence in our lives; why would one ever leave such a sanctuary? it’s my guess that we’ve all been fooled and in the process have done some ill-fitting mental gymnastics that have led us to think that facebook is harmless and just not that big a deal. but our actions and words prove otherwise. there is something deeper to all this that has affected everything we do from relationships to business to church.

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The universe is bursting with Joy.

I looked at the stars tonight.  They were practically singing.  I looked at a tulip.  It looked like it wanted to shout “Amen!”  I looked at a leaf.  It whispered gently, comfortingly.  I looked at a mountain.  It was simply a thing of glory.  I look at the face of God through these mirrors, daily, and hear their songs in their silence.  There is Joy.  And it is good.

“That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.” - Romans 8:18-25 (MSG)

I hear you Paul…I hear you.

I know exactly what you mean.

The hope of the Resurrection is resounding deafeningly

In tulips.

soft kiss

on the train

I remember.

a cheeky redemption

keeps peeking in

sneaking in

tossing me grenades of nearby babies

refilling my cup

with forgiveness and lipstick

smeared wholeheartedly

on fallen faces

bearing the mark

of the Original.

What a day it was.  Full of searching and intrigue; wondering step after step after step and farther still.  The rain, the grey, the searching; twist after twist, going forward, backtracking, looking for a break in the clouds above us, in the concrete below us.  Is a break even possible? Who knows? And there, at the end of the day, a baby’s hello at dinner and a kiss from my wife on the train conspire to convince me: the Fall is not the last word.

When Jesus rose from the dead

a New Creation rose with him.

Holy.

He does not cede the Holy to the Fall.

Today I listened to this song by the David Crowder*Band and it literally sent a chill up my spine.  It’s been the longest time since any song did that to me.  The part that got me was this one soaring guitar solo…the electric guitar held out this one bent note as the band rocked out.  It just comes at the perfect time.  The tone is exactly what it should be, and it makes the song breathe and live.  Gorgeous.  I would love to be in a band that played at that technical level and that just knew when to do what.  I can just hear that moment playing over and over in my mind.  The raw edge of that guitar galloping above the rest of the instruments, while the rest hold it up and let it tear through the sky.  Beautiful.

Tonight jamming with the boys was life-giving for me.  Thoroughly enjoyed it.  Thanks to Eugene, Adam, Ariel, Stefan, Isaac.  And our guests, Ross, Dom, Jon P.  Jazz is so new and so challenging—it forces teamwork.  And playing for those 5 minutes with Ariel, Jon, and Isaac on that random jam was chilling.  The goosebumps-type of chilling, not the relaxed type. I haven’t gotten to play—not lead, not jam, but play—like that for ages.  Probably since Tim, Matt, Kevin, Ching, and me became understudies of Dave Matthews last year :)  Good times.

I keep wanting to push farther with music but I need a band that can let it rip with raging ferocity and soothing tenderness all in the same song.  When will that time be? I hope it’s soon.  It’s one of the few releases myself and many of us have in a life that feels stuck in busyness.  Hosanna (save us) Lord.

This feels right.  Blogging feels right.  It’s a good discipline to keep yourself aware of the world, of the things that bear on your soul, of the things that keep you alive as well as the things which are killing you.  Those things are upon us every day and it’s good to make note of what’s what.

Like that one bending, whining, screaming, tension-filled, held-high note that kicks off that solo.  Life, kicking and screaming, reminding you to be chilled and awestruck.  Reminding you of wonder.  Reminding you of the wild God whose music is too wide to fit into this small heart, this mere world.  It just makes you want to burst.

Thank you for today.